In my readings for myself, I see the 'Control' card often when life is stressful or things are changing fast and I feel like I have nothing to hold onto.

The best thing to do at these times, is of course, to surrender and let a greater force direct traffic for a while, to loosen my grip. Yet when I am stressed, that's the last thing I want to do. I think I secretly hope that I, of my own effort, can change the course of the universe. Silly but it's one of my tendencies.

Letting go of control is scary for many of us. Things could go wrong if we're not right there to manage them. Others may not understand as thoroughly as we do just what is at stake if things go wrong. Yet letting go of control is the right thing to do.

I have a friend who's been sick. She is surrounded by caring people who are managing her illness on her behalf. Sometimes there are mis-steps in their management, but she is serenely accepting their skills as greater than her own and letting them do the work so she can focus on feeling better. She is the picture of grace. She trusts that things will go the best they can, and trusts the world around her to support her. Her job is not to look over their shoulders. Her job is to rest and feel better. I'm not quite as restful about it as she is. But every time I catch myself trying to grasp the ungraspable, or manage the unmanageable, I take a breath, notice the weather outside and let it go. Then, I too, rest in that ocean of grace that supports us all. My job is not to manage any of it. My job is to be her friend.

It means that I have to trust that even if life isn't going the way I want, it is going the way that the universe wants. To do that all I have to do is relax and let the forces supporting me do the heavy lifting. Relax and let what is joyful be my guide.

There is an old saying: "If your cows are kicking down the fence, give them a bigger meadow."