I like to plan. I like efficiency and elegance and I love creating order in a disorderly world. But sometimes my plans don't seem to work out the way I'd hope. Well, a lot of the time they don't.

It rains on the day of the picnic. A client doesn't show up for her appointment. My doctor has to rush out suddenly to an emergency while I sit in his office. The barbeque runs out of propane when the sausages are half-cooked. The internet connection konks out just when I have the reports ready to email out.

Plans fail.

Even when I "try, try again."

I may sit down faithfully to put that article together, and hours later have to admit that it just isn't working. I try again the next day, and things are no better. When I fight too hard to keep my plans alive, it's like swimming against the tide. Life sometimes conspires to have my well laid plans fail.

Not that they aren't great plans. I make excellent plans. It's just life might have something else in mind for me.

Often something nice.

When the doctor rushed out to the emergency, I decided to stop by a local shop and pick up some kitchen supplies. I hadn't intended to go there for weeks, but by going that day, I discovered the plates I'd been hoping to find years ago. They not only had them in stock, they had them on sale.

If the internet connection hadn't konked out, I would not have stepped outside at the very moment that a shooting star streaked by Mars.

It works the other way around, too. Sometimes, I'll find I have a free block of time a couple of weeks before a deadline. I sit to write my article, and it comes together seamlessly and smoothly. It flows. Weeks ahead of schedule. When this happens, I wonder what is going to be happening in my life later in the month that will occupy my attention instead. One time it was a family crisis. Another time it was an unexpected, happy trip.

From "The Tao of Pooh", by Benjamin Hoff:

"If you are in tune with The Way Things Work, then they work the way they need to, no matter what you think about it at the time. Later on, you can look back and say, 'Oh, now I understand. That had to happen so that *those* could happen, and those had to happen in order for *this* to happen...' Then you realize that even if you'd tried to make it all turn out perfectly, you couldn't have done better, and if you'd *really* tried, you would have made a mess of the whole thing."
I would love to be able to reach ahead into the future to a time when I could look back and see how all the puzzle pieces of my life fit together -- see the broad beauty of life in a coherent picture. I know that coherent picture exists because when I do let myself go with the flow, I can almost taste the beauty and integrity of the higher plan.

This weekend I have plans to take a short trip as a treat for myself. I hope that the touch of sore throat I woke up with this morning doesn't wreck those plans. If it does, I may be disappointed, but I can trust that the flow of life is carrying me right where I need to go. Cross your fingers for me anyhow.

(1st written 2010-10-28)

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