When I was a kid, I hated brushing my teeth. It seemed wrong, somehow, that to maintain healthy teeth we had to do something so stupid every day.

Now that I am older, I don't mind, but there's still a part of me that KNOWS life is more smooth than this.

I am a creature that loves efficiency. No wasted effort. I like building scripts and macros to automate the clerical work. I also like how doing the clerical work makes things easier to manage.

I wonder if on some level, I always knew that life could be effortless. Not that energy shouldn't be spent, but that it be directed to creativity and personal expression, passion and curiosity and growth. To physical exuberance. To emotional range.

If I knew there was a way to live in a state of grace, where life happened and was heavenly - even when bad things happened, even when disappointing or uncomfortable and certainly mortal - it would make sense that I'd fight against the endless stream of opinion, conceptualization. I'd fight against toothbrushing.

Yet if I am aware of grace, even just vaguely, then it makes sense that I'd feel the acute gracelessness that comes with life. They are each two sides of the same quality.