This morning I read a short blurb in the Telegraph online about a fellow in Hawaii, who has been living in his house, knowing that one day it would be consumed by the volcano that has been erupting nearby since 1983. The caption reads, "Having been under the constant threat of lava for the past three years, Sleik had become resigned to the idea that his home would someday be taken by it, and welcomes an end to the stress he's had to live with"

This afternoon I will be in court to stand up with a neice. While she knows justice will come in the end, it is still hanging in the air and it would be very nice to see it resolved so she can get on with her studies.

Uncertainty is stressful. Like most people, I like happy endings and I don't want to wait for them.

Keeping busy helps me get through these times. But if it's keeping busy while that worrying refrain runs through my head all the time, I could just be making myself a bit crazier. And if people around me are really stressed by the same uncertainty, I might need to get some distance to keep my balance. It can be contagious.

Sometimes I can counter the stress by asking my body to relax. Our bodies are vigilant to the things that stress us. To our physical body, a constant niggling worry in our minds can be like a tap dripping. We tense up a little bit somewhere inside until the problem is attended to. "Oh. Dripping tap. I can't fix it at the moment." Then our body settles down knowing that the alert is no longer needed.

I remember an incident years ago, when my husband had taken a fall from his truck at work and was in the hospital awaiting surgery. The results were uncertain. I had no idea when he'd be able to work again, or if we'd have enough money during his recovery. The uncertainty was so complete that I couldn't even start planning. Oddly enough, since there was nothing I could do, it made it easier to give up the worry and stay in the moment. When I phoned my daughter that evening with an update, she said, "You sound almost happy." In an odd way, I was.

With the court thing today, each time the worried thoughts rise and my body tenses in response to the alert, I may have to remind myself that my role is not to resolve anything. My role is to be a loving auntie. And I may have to remind myself of this a dozen times.

It also helps for me to believe that there is a higher reason for all these unresolved troubles. But if I spend too much time trying to figure out what that reason is, that can often be a subtle way of slipping back into worry. So it pays for me to let that be a mystery that may unfold in time. After all, if it really is a higher reason, then it may be out of my reach.

So last night and this morning, I gave it a few minutes in prayer and meditation. And I spent a minute or so visualizing the happiest results I could, and imagining and feeling the joy and relief and pleasure we all would feel at a happy result.

Then I sat down and started writing this story for Starry Night. By writing the story, I am keeping busy, affirming my trust in life, affirming my intention to put worry aside when it crops up and taking pleasure in the joy of the writing itself. That's about the best I can do today. And now that the story is done, it's time to put that aside as well, so I can put my mind on something else completely.

Uncertainty can be tough when we want our happy ending and we want it now. But we don't have to keep ourselves hanging in the air. We can get busy with the other parts of our lives that are moving ahead and keep our focus happily on them.

Update: The court thing continues. I feel it will work out okay for her, but it does drag on. As for the guy in Hawaii, I'm glad his uncertainty is over, and hope he found a new home to love.

(Story originally written in July 2010)

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